Natural Urges Guide The First Three Years of Learning

Children are born with innate urges to guide them as they gain control of their muscles and senses. Especially in the first three years of life, they are unconscious learners and work tirelessly toward independence. And as they develop naturally, they learn to hold their head up, roll over, sit, crawl, walk, run and talk without any instruction or help.

Innate Development Needs Practice

Meanwhile, this innate development involves repetition. Their need to practice and move in a safe environment is great! This need can also be misunderstood by their parent or caregiver and feel somewhat manipulative at times. However, the child is almost always answering an innate and unconscious urge to master a new skill. As examples:

😭 The child may cry when they are confined to a stroller. Chances are they would prefer to explore the ground and practice walking. 👟👟

🧥It’s time to leave and they want to put on their own jacket—and take it off and put it on again. This may take extra time and patience but, they are likely focused on a need to dress themselves.

💡They want to turn the light switch on and off repeatedly. After all, they really want to understand how lights work …

Hands-On Learning

Beginning in infancy, the child not only has a strong desire to move about, they want to explore and touch everything in their environment. All the child is learning and discovering with their hands connects directly to their brain creating prolific neural connections. For this reason, Dr. Montessori stressed the need for the keen observation of the child as a means for understanding their actions. Once the child’s developmental needs are understood, the emotional and physical misunderstandings will lessen.

Prepared Adult and Environment

Understanding the child’s needs leads to the need for a prepared environment. Safe outdoor spaces or playgrounds are often perfect for large movement and physical coordination skill building. An inside environment can offer opportunities to foster independence. Dressing areas, practical life home care, sensory activities, etc… The options are endless.

Reacting to The Struggles

Regardless of preparation, there will be some struggles in the first years of development. Understanding the child and their innate urges is not always easy to do and/or obvious. But if you find yourself in a momentary struggle, think of it as being caught in a riptide — ‘an area of sea where two different currents meet or where the water is extremely deep…making the water very rough and dangerous.’*  In the moment, a child’s emotions and reactions can seem as forceful as a riptide.

Similar to a strong flowing current, the child is following their inner guide. As they do, you might find yourself also in their ‘channel’—and suddenly caught up in its force. Their motivation is not to pull you in. The child wants very much to ‘go it alone’ and master the task before them. Once mastered, they will lose interest and take another step toward independence—their ultimate goal.

The best advice for getting caught in a riptide is to remain calm, conserve energy and think clearly. Once out of the current, swim parallel to the shore (the child) until you can get back safely, and better prepared for the next natural urge. 😉

*https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/riptide